Season of change.
It's been a while since my last post but in that time something has been happening in my head. I have decided to take more control be more assertive than passive. It's time to pick myself up and change my focus.
Getting my diagnosis and everything that came with it seemed to strip me of my confidence. I had previously been a very confident happy go lucky kind of girl but it seemed like getting a disability stripped that away. You see you have so many knocks and go through so much that there comes a point that it grinds you down. It ground me down and wore me out physically and emotionally. It's time to fight back!
I have changed my focus and decided that I need to regain some control. The fibro took my control and as a person who liked to be in control of things the feeling of being out of control depressed me. What I have realised it that I can regain control not necessarily in all aspects of my life but that doesn't mean that I cannot change and take control in other areas of my life.
It's coming to terms and gaining acceptance over your limitations and adapting. I have to not let my limitations be my focus and then give up in despair or frustration. My life has ended up taking a different path but doesn't mean that path is any less of a path.
I have recently been away on holiday and the time away from home gave me chance to rebuild my confidence in myself and what I am capable of. Getting away gave me time to sort the blur that my head seemed to be in. I have had so much going on in the past few years that I had been on an auto pilot as a sort of self protection mechanism. I had to cope I had to get through but you cannot always remain on auto pilot.
We have such a good time, meeting up with friends, joining in with activities and just generally a change of scenery. I even get a social life on holiday and get to play bingo which I love! The only problem is that both the girls and I need to be dragged back home. I think it's why we go back so much to the same place! Next time we go back I would like to order some sun and warmer weather!