Thursday 21 February 2013

The need to escape.


Escaping.

There are times when things get too much and all you can see is the crap that lies in front of you. It's at times like this that you want and need to escape. I have needed to escape recently. Escape the crazy around me. Hide from the crap and try and have a chance to clear my head and recharge.

My escapism took the form of going away on a break. Myself and my girls and my mum went to the York in the UK for a long weekend. We escaped the crazy that was surrounding us here and packed our stuff and boarded the train. However it's never as simple as that and the journey was tiring for me but when we got there I was able to relax more and enjoy some quality family time.

When you are not right in the middle of a situation you can often work through it and try and process things more. I found that the break helped me to do just that. However having some time away is never always straight forward as I found myself spending a whole afternoon at the local hospital with my youngest who gave us a scare. She was sick and had a headache and was complaining of her neck aching and then started developing a rash that wouldn't fade under pressure. 2 doctors and a nurse later and she was admitted onto a ward for observation. She finally saw 2 more kids doctors who finally said it was an upper respiratory tract infection and the spots were burst blood vessels from being sick. What a long day but I cannot thank the hospital enough as they were so good and they were doing the right thing by observing her and they we're all lovely staff.

So the break had a few of it's own stresses but all in all despite Evie being poorly we had a great time. We extended our stay there by an extra 2 nights to make up for some of the time we lost and to make sure Evie was well enough for the journey back.

So a break away helped me to escape and emotionally get my head in order but boy have I paid for it physically. I have spent the last 2 days in bed in pain from over doing it but it was worth it to have some quality time with my girls. York is such a historic and beautiful city and I was glad I got to visit it again!

         
                               

The steps that have hurt my knees so badly- never again!
My 2 monkeys hiding from me!
Big kid mummy had to have 1 ride too!
View of the Minster from the York wheel.
                         
                           


Whilst I managed to escape and get a break it gives you time to reflect but going away can also highlight things that you are no longer able to do and this can be sad. For instance I had to keep stopping and resting all the time yet I still managed to overdo it. Luckily the girls understand that my legs get bad and I am in pain so they are very good and accommodating. It can still be upsetting though when you just want to be able to run after your girls but all you can manage is a slow painful hobble.

However, I know they appreciate what I do for them and how much I try for them as my eldest who is 7 often says so. She will say that she knows that I try very hard and that I am in pain and that she loves me so much as I do a good job. She has also said that I do a lot more with them than other parents who have no excuse. I have found it's about doing what you can do and being honest when you can or cannot do something. I explain to them how I am feeling pain wise and it helps them to understand what sorts of things we will or won't be doing together that day.

Some wonderful friends of mine have developed a fabulous book that helps children to understand just this concept based on using a colour system to explain how you feel. It's aimed at children in the age range of 2-7 years so my 2 fit the audience perfectly. The reason I like it as it doesn't focus on what you can't do more on what you can do and when. It helps to explain invisible illness to young children.

                    

For more information please visit:

https://www.facebook.com/TotsTaleAboutTheCleverColourSystem/info

Due for release March 2013 on Amazon but we have been lucky enough to get to use this before.

Plug over with now but I really do think it is worth sharing this with people as there was nothing out there to use with young children! Please feel free to like and support the facebook page as it will keep you up to date with things.


Monday 11 February 2013

The impact of STRESS.



So it's been a while since I posted but it seems in that time like I have had 1001 things going on. It feels as if I have been buried under this thing called stress and it has swallowed me up. Due to being under stress it has had a massive impact on how I have been feeling both physically and emotionally and so this is the inspiration for tonight's blog. The impact of stress.

                         

The above chart shows how stress can affect people and if you read it is shows just how it can affect your health. Some symptoms on there I already suffer due to my medical conditions so you can imagine what the added stress on top has been doing.

Stress and I.

We seem to have a funny relationship sometimes I seem to not stress at all about some things and be very relaxed but other things can become big issues and then cause me to have a full on Fibro flare. It seems as these past few weeks have had quite a big impact and caused one long fibro flare. I think for me the worst impacts of stress are felt through my pain levels and also on my sleeping. As a fibro suffer I struggle with sleep and having good restorative sleep as it is and adding stress to the mix is like having a lethal cocktail, it's a disaster waiting to happen. However, trying to relax and clear you mind of all the things that you are unable to control around you are not very easy.

                         

I also get very forgetful when stressed it's as if it becomes best friends with my fibro fog. I managed to miss my first Fibro support group meeting at the hospital. It wasn't until 3 am the next morning that I suddenly remembered I had missed it. I phoned up and apologised and decided to re book onto another course later on in a couple of months as I had already missed the first of 4 and I was going to miss another so it seemed like it would be a waste of time if I could only go to half. I do look forward to going to this course though so it was a shame.

Stress busting Fibro Mummy style.
I cannot control what is going on around me but I can try and take control of how it is affecting me. I try to find ways in which to try and take my mind off it and think positively about things even if they are not connected to the particular situation. The key is not to let it catch you and pull you down into a depressive spiral.

Things I have been doing to try and take my mind off the stress:

Looking forward - what have I got coming up to look forward to?
For me this is a couple of weekends away with my girls planned. I booked these just recently as I find getting away a good stress buster. I did shop around for some good hotel deals though!
A family holiday, this will soon come round and we love going to our favourite place Weymouth.
Fibro meet- a fab weekend planned where I will get to spend time with some of my fab supportive online friends! eeek can't wait!

Keep busy - What can I do now to take my mind off things?
Part of this for me is helping to organise things for our meet in terms of a document and keeping it up to date.
Doing things with my girls and getting out and about even though I have been in a lot of pain, getting out can certainly help.
Blogging is also a good outlet for me, gets things off my mind stops them buzzing round in my head especially late at night when I can't sleep.

Support - Better out than in!
Talk to people it's better out than festering away inside you. Even if it's a situation that you have little control over or say in it's always better than keeping it to yourself. Those of you who know what's going on just want to say thanks for your support!
Don't hide away and become isolated! Even if you can't get out don't hide away. I find my fab online groups a great outlet and a great support. Some are groups with people related to Fibro and disabilities who I have met some fab people through you know who you are, and others are other types of groups in particular a fab mummy group! I have over the years met some great people online that I have been talking to now in some cases for 8 years!

Try to remain positive - positivity breeds positivity!
As the old song goes 'Always look on the bright side of life'.
I also try and look at the things I have to be thankful for. My recent things to be thankful for are my fab supportive online friends, and a couple of 'real life' friends, who I don't see as much as of I would like but never the less are always there. I am thankful that even though I have been feeling in a lot of pain lately and especially over the last week I was still able to get out with the girls and enjoy a  meal out and then get some lovely clothes for them when shopping. I am also thankful that it is nearly Easter and that Mr Cadbury invented the creme egg- I love them!

                                   


My biggest things to always be thankful for though are my two beautiful girls, who always bring a smile to my face!