Monday, 12 November 2012

Ungrateful Cow.

Evil cherry tomatoes!

Today has been an exhausting day. I had been up since 1 am so it was never going to be a great day especially when you have the hospital. My lovely mum took me for lunch at the pub to try and cheer me up today, it was a lovely thought but today I just felt like an ungrateful cow. It's not that it wasn't a nice idea, or that I didn't want to be with her it was just that after spending all morning at the hospital on little sleep I was exhausted. I was in agony anyway with my Fibro today and that can even make sitting for a meal very uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was keep getting up to try and stop the shooting pains in my legs and hips. At one point the pain was so bad I burst out crying. What great company I must have been especially as in between the pain my eyes were shutting.
Having Fibro can be like that it can spoil things that you would normally enjoy or want to do. It then can make you appear ungrateful. I was so tired and in so much pain that I only ate half my food and then had to sit and wait for my mum for what seemed like an age. I mean she eats as slow as a flipping tortoise anyway but today seemed like an eternity. Every forkful she put into her mouth was unbearable. It was like the cherry tomatoes on her plate were determined to keep her sitting eating for longer than necessary. I just wanted her to shove them in whole one at a time not cut them in half and dip them in some sauce that she had!
I know it all sounds a bit extreme but until you are sat there feeling so bad then you won't be able to understand it. I was just desperate to get home.


Today I was back at my follow up appointment for Rheumatology and I took my mum with me partly for a bit of moral support but also as I tend to forget everything I need to say. I saw the consultant who basically went over all my bloods they took before saying that everything else was eliminated and it is just fibromyalgia and everything that comes with that including my hyper mobility. Nothing I didn't already know there. Anyway I managed to get some of my medication changed to a newer type that should hopefully make me less drowsy and zombified at times. Apparently they often don't start with pregablin as it is more expensive than gabapentin. Why is it always based on cost!? She also is asking my doctor to refer me to the fat club at the hospital as the medicines are piling on my weight. Be good if they could at least help in this I mean it's not like I haven't been asking them for the fat pills back again but they wouldn't before so we will see. She also said no reason why the doctors cannot give me the fat pills back again now. She also explained to my mum the fibro is something that I just have to basically live with, which I have been trying to explain to my mum for months that this is how I am and it's about trying to manage it.


I then had to wait ages for the vampires to take some blood to check on my vitamin D levels seeing as they are so low again. The consultant said I will probably need to take calcium and vitamin D supplements for life just like my B12 jabs. Not too bothered about any of that though as I have been on high dose vitamin D for a long time now anyway I just hope my levels have come up.
I am quite happy with how the appointment went as it could have been worse in terms of how it could have gone.


Mad children.

My girls have really made me laugh today. They woke up in one of their made moods singing and dancing round my bedroom first thing this morning. I love it when they wake up in this mood rather than having to drag them out of bed.
It's funny how things can change though as both of them really played me up tonight and didn't go to sleep until 10 pm and there went my early night and I went past the stage of feeling tired. They will not be happy children tomorrow when I have to drag them out of bed for school which is pretty hard to do when your in pain and they point blank refuse!


Getting organised.

This afternoon when I got back from the meal I decided that I needed to catch up on things that I had been putting off and delaying. I started by paying off a load of bills and loan such fun when I would rather be spending my money on something more exciting like a holiday or at least a weekend away or even failing that just some shopping. I want to get my debts down so I seriously need to sort my money our plus I have holidays to save for for next year too! I caught up with loads of phone calls and managed to get myself booked onto a course starting this Friday about living with long term health conditions anything to help myself has got to be worth a go. I feel that I was quite productive and am proud of myself for getting this all done rather than putting stuff off again as usual.



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